18 times when I was just the worst kind of girl

  1. That time I spent like $100 on makeup at Sephora and MAC AND signed up for Birchbox all in one week.
    Clueless shopping spree
  2. That time I made everyone dress up fancy for no particular reason.
  3. That time I met my teenage heartthrob and directly melted into a pile of moist goo. MOIST.
    Amelie melting
  4. That time I ate only fro-yo for lunch. Both times. Okay all 12 times.
  5. That time I saw a spider and jumped so fast I left my skin in a neat pile on the floor below me.
    Cat jumping scared
  6. That period of time in middle school when I asked my mom to buy me TWO copies of every Tiger Beat, BB, and Bop magazine that had one of my many celebrity crushes so that I could cut one up and still have one intact. For the stories.
  7. Each time I made you carry me home on your back like a possum mom because I didn’t wear appropriate shoes.
    Possum mother
  8. That other period of time in middle/high school when, if my life had been a movie it would not have passed the Bechdel Test.
  9. Every time I bought a TaYlOr SwIfT ALBUM YEAHHHH!! Jk that never happened.
    Like, never, ever ever.
    Taylor Swift vs. cat
  10. That time I tried to bribe myself into taking swim lessons by saying I could buy some cute and sporty swim outfits.
  11. That time I slapped my best friend in the face as hard as I could to reassert my dominance in the group.
    Game of Thrones bitch slap
  12. That time I finished an entire bottle of wine and jar of Nutella in one night.
    Birthday bottle of champagne
  13. That time I murdered 18 people ahead of me in line for brunch because ITS MY FAVE!!! MIMOSAS!!! YAYYY!!!
    Brunch Amy Poehler and Kristen Wiig
  14. That 4th time I tried whiskey and was still like, “No thank you please!”
  15. Every time I’ve ordered something that ended in “-tini” but didn’t start with “mar-.”
    Sex and the City martinis
  16. That time I tried to make you go with me to a pumpkin patch way the hell down in Half Moon Bay BECAUSE FAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!! But then we skipped it and went to a haunted cliff-top restaurant and two breweries instead. So not really that time I guess.
    Creepy pumpkin dancer
  17. Every single time I’ve sent an email regarding some bitch’s bachelorette party.
  18. That time I LITERALLY could not even.
    Game of Thrones Arya girl

AREN’T WE GIRLS JUST THE WORST? YAYYYYY!!!!

Wedding drinks laughter

2 Comments

  • Aubrey says:
    6 October, 2015 at 10:35 am

    In middle school, I was the WORST (along with my sister) when we insisted that our parents purchase TWO copies of the Titanic soundtrack CD because we could NOT share even though there was really only ONE song with which we were each obsessed.

    Also, I am #14, whiskey no thanks. And I eat fro-yo for lunch because it’s wayyyyy healthier than a cheeseburger, right?

    Yeah, I’m the worst kind of girl pretty much every day.

    Reply

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