Once the intolerable level is reached, when I can’t stand this life anymore without that different thing, when all my waking hours are spent wanting and my sleeping hours are full of dreams of bloody fields littered with the decimated bodies of everything that stood in my way of attaining that thing… I weigh my options. I think seriously about Doing Something About It. I could send out my resume, apply for a study abroad program, bat my eyelashes like I’m getting paid for it, or plant myself in someone’s castle and hope no one notices for awhile. And here’s the odd part: the more likely it seems that I could attain X (where X does not equal the current Situation), my fear level increases. Fear level, as you can see in Graph B, is directly proportional to the likelihood of X happening. This is where I have The Choice. The Choice is to either run away, like a pansy-ass mofo, so that the fear level decreases and I can crawl back into my moist, warm comfort zone. Moist. Or I can press on through the fear, Do Something About It, and maybe get what I deserve.

You see, The Choice is up to you — can you go back to the way it was, dissatisfied and wanting, with those gory, sticky dreams, or can you live with the fear, push past it to find out what awaits you in the bright, scary future? I’ve found that, whether I like it or not, I can always tell I’m on the right path when the possibility of success scares the crap out of me.