The Extraordinarily Ordinary » shopping reference http://www.theextraordinarilyordinary.com Thu, 20 May 2010 03:43:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 “The Argumentalist” Wednesdays at 9/8 Central on CBS http://www.theextraordinarilyordinary.com/2009/12/30/the-argumentalist-wednesdays-at-98-central-on-cbs/ http://www.theextraordinarilyordinary.com/2009/12/30/the-argumentalist-wednesdays-at-98-central-on-cbs/#comments Wed, 30 Dec 2009 22:09:11 +0000 jtal http://www.theextraordinarilyordinary.com/?p=62 For years I thought I was a most excellent argumentalist. I always won, thanks to my infallible logic and the coolly systematic way in which I broke down my opponent’s defense. However, by some odd coincidence, two different roommates informed me that I was not so much an extremely persuasive debater, but that I was [...]]]> For years I thought I was a most excellent argumentalist. I always won, thanks to my infallible logic and the coolly systematic way in which I broke down my opponent’s defense. However, by some odd coincidence, two different roommates informed me that I was not so much an extremely persuasive debater, but that I was so stubborn I tended to break down my opponent’s desire to keep talking and they would just let me have my way. The outcome is more or less the same… so I was really ok with that.

In my rash youth, there was nothing I loved more than a good verbal fight. I didn’t have the clothes, the popularity, the looks; I hadn’t yet found my confidence, impeccable style, grace and humility — all I had were my words. I relished a good tongue-lashing, and prided myself in always besting my challenger. Sometimes, when I felt a fight was brewing, I’d play it out to myself (as I’m sure many have). I’d imagine not only what I’d say, but what the other person’s likely reactions would be so that I could have the perfect comeback ready. I’d envision how it would all start, and, more often than not, if the argument never started itself, I’d give it the ignition t it needed.

Why did I love it so much? I did usually come out on top, and that delicious, fiery hot taste of success when you know your opponent has nothing more to fight with was irresistible. It was like a sport to me, and since I was never athletically inclined, it was my only real victory over another.

It’s been many years since my last all-out-word-war, and over time I realized that few things are worth the energy a real argument takes. Especially the ones that last days — it’s generally all you can think about, planning what you’ll say next, what you’d like to do to that numbskull, and carefully avoiding any internal discovery that you may not be 100% right. That’s not to say that you should let everything slide or let someone walk over you, but you should really weigh whether it’s worth the effort. I mean, you could save that energy to pump some iron, or write an epic ballad, or go shopping or something.

I’ve also recently realized that it truly takes two people to start a fight. Which is both obvious and infuriating. “Hell no!” you might say, “that betch started it. She came at me like a spider-monkey and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening.” Startling imagery aside, in fact I’ve found that just as I can stubborn my way into a “win”, I can ignore my way out of a potential confrontation. I’m not championing passive-aggressiveness, or ignoring things that bug you until you spew them out in a pyroclastic flow all over innocent bystanders. But again, it’s a weighing of your options — yes, I can tell that you’re ticked off here, and you’ve thrown out a couple of juicy jabs at me that I could return. I could ask what the hell your problem is and find out that you think I eyed your man or something and we could really go at it in a fury of texts for the next few hours. Yet if I don’t take the bait, if I ignore the fact that you want to pick a fight with me, if I continue to be my lovely and gracious self and wish you safe travels and a Happy New Year, then I get to go on with my merry life. Have a nice mug of cider and watch some bad TV. Rock out to some Journey.

It’s only through the crippling humility of love that I have ever accepted defeat and been willing to make the first move after a fight. A fight is only worth pursuing if you can spare the hours away from the person you’re mad at. And this late in life, if you’re willing to hold out for a fight with me, I have to wonder if you are worth it. I’m jealous of my time, and if you’re just going to waste it then why would I make the effort to give you any?

]]> http://www.theextraordinarilyordinary.com/2009/12/30/the-argumentalist-wednesdays-at-98-central-on-cbs/feed/ 0 Girls and sales http://www.theextraordinarilyordinary.com/2009/10/22/girls-and-sales/ http://www.theextraordinarilyordinary.com/2009/10/22/girls-and-sales/#comments Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:46:01 +0000 jtal http://www.theextraordinarilyordinary.com/?p=53 A theorem. Theory. What have you.

A girl cannot pass up a good sale. There, I said it. Scavengers by nature, we’re constantly and unavoidably drawn to getting something at a discount. Things we don’t need. Things we don’t even want. Things that don’t quite fit, or look quite right, but God help me it’s half-price [...]]]> A theorem. Theory. What have you.

A girl cannot pass up a good sale. There, I said it. Scavengers by nature, we’re constantly and unavoidably drawn to getting something at a discount. Things we don’t need. Things we don’t even want. Things that don’t quite fit, or look quite right, but God help me it’s half-price and maybe one day in the next 5 years I’ll need a faux leopard-print capelet. Be honest ladies, how many unworn items have you shoved into your Goodwill trash bag along with your bitter remorse for buying something just because it was on sale?

Not to say it’s a bad thing, and certainly we often brag about the steals we’ve made by spending an hour digging through the clearance rack. Some classy French dame may disagree, “Zis Luuuis Vwuitton bag cost me an entiyer month’s salareee and trois bottles of champagne.” “Well,” your savvy American gal will reply, “I found this bag in the 75% off bin AND I had a $10 coupon on top of my 15% store discount. They actually paid me $0.35 for this. And then gave me an award for Most Awesome at Life.”

But I’ve recently noticed that this mentality creeps into other aspects of life, and that, my lady friends, is where it will get you into trouble. One such lady friend recently told me how touched she was when a friend she had casually seen last year confessed that he was willing to change his partying man-tramp ways and only wanted to be with her. She was so touched she started to consider… although she didn’t really have feelings for him and knew it was unfair to lead him on… well he was right there. He certainly wasn’t THE one, he was a little young for her and didn’t quite match her lifestyle or her shoes… but he was available. Standing in the rain (ok, I don’t think it was really raining), offering commitment and promising companionship. Maybe he would grow on her. Maybe she could make him fit, run him through the wash a few times to stretch out, or just remember to suck it in and stand up really straight everytime she had him around. He was saying the things she’d hoped to hear from another, less available man, and it’s just so tempting to snatch something up when it’s the right price.

A girl simply cannot pass up a sale.

But here’s the thing: no one ever gets pure delight from an item just because it was on sale. The purchases you really love, that make you feel like a million-dollar-Nobel-prize-winning-supermodel — you would pay anything for. The way you feel in it is worth full-price. Maybe more.

I have this red trench coat I bought online at Nordstrom’s. I was looking for a different kind of coat, but I saw this and knew that it must be mine. It’s quite a statement, with a really interesting cut and bold color, and I wasn’t even sure if I could pull it off. It was wayyyy more than I needed to spend, but I put it right into my virtual cart and virtually high-fived the virtual cashier. When it arrived, I put it on and felt like a total spy. I have to wear at least 3-inch heals when it rains now so I can stomp my way through puddles and all the small people in my life while wearing my very favorite trench coat.

The point is that it’s worth it. Don’t jump at something just because it’s there and it kind of seems like it might be useful. Your happiness is worth the wait. You deserve top-shelf, exclusive, first-class, premium plus, grade-A, red rope, haute couture, private limo, best-table-in-the-house, orchestra seating, don’t you think?

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