I’ll give you an example. Two years ago, when I was fresh out of college and fresh out of job prospects, I was asked to come back for a second interview at a “marketing” company up in Indy. [...]]]> Have you ever gotten good news that really just made you feel worse than before you heard it?

I’ll give you an example. Two years ago, when I was fresh out of college and fresh out of job prospects, I was asked to come back for a second interview at a “marketing” company up in Indy. I was super excited — this was the farthest I’d gotten on the hiring process all summer. I drove up in my snappy little suit, and found out I’d be shadowing one of the marketing reps for a full 8-hour day. I proceeded to go on about 15 cold calls to businesses in the outlying Indianapolis areas trying to sell them credit card processing services. At about noon, I thought, “Ok, ok. I could do this. If I really had to, I could do this. Plus there’ll be training for a few weeks, then a shadowing period, so it’s not like I’ll just be thrown into it.” But at the first stop after lunch, I realized, “Hell no. Hell. NOOOOOOOO. I have to get the fuck outta here, this is the worst thing for me ever. There is no way I could do this even for one day. No matter how desperate.”

So we got back to the office, and after a short discussion between the supervisor and the girl I was following all day, they called me in. And offered me the job. On the spot. My stomach fell to my toes, and I squeaked out that I’d need some time. I smiled, shook their hands, got in my car, and started crying hysterically. I pulled over to a McDonald’s to call my bff. Here was a job, a real-life money-making job, here in my hands. This was the farthest I’d gotten after months of rejection. What if there was nothing but this available to me? But how on earth could I force myself to go back there. It was good news that destroyed my fragile emotions. It was confusing…

I eventually calmed down, got in my car, and on the drive home realized what I’d known all along: this was not the job for me. It was just something that could be done by someone with my capabilities. But it wasn’t mine. Mine would come, eventually, and if I had to wait a little longer for it, then so be it. It would be just that much sweeter when I found it.

I recently got some news that — while good and overdue — made me really depressed. I liken it to finding out you’re really good at something you don’t want to be really good at. Like, strangling kittens. I mean, sure, it’s nice to know that you have a certain skill-set, but it doesn’t mean I want to be strangling kittens for the rest of my life.

If a decision is really tearing you up inside, if it makes you nauseous to think about acting on that “good news”, well, you know the answer then, don’t you?

1) First I heard it from Dog Whisperer Ceasar Milan… suuure, I just change my energy by thinking calmly and assertively and dogs will behave and follow me around and clean up their own poop. I mean, how can you trust such [...]]]> This whole concept of “energy” seems to have been following me around for awhile.

1) First I heard it from Dog Whisperer Ceasar Milan… suuure, I just change my energy by thinking calmly and assertively and dogs will behave and follow me around and clean up their own poop. I mean, how can you trust such a well-manicured man? I believe that he uses his unnaturally white teeth to hypnotize people and their dogs.

2) Then I came across Jill Bolte-Taylor’s incredible Ted speech. Jill is a neuroscientist who suffered a stroke in her early thirties, and she tells the amazing story of experiencing her body and mind shut down from the inside during her stroke. After the stroke, she could no longer understand speech, but she could understand energy. Positive energy in those around her helped her heal; negative energy drained her. At our most basic level – once you strip away your internal dialogue, language, memory of your life story – you are simply an animal who responds to the energy around you.

3) Finally, the physician father of one of my coworkers (and good friend) came to our office to speak about managing stress through Heart Math.  He talked about the physical and chemical reactions your body has to stress, and how shifting your energy into a positive area will improve your health and lead to a virtuous cycle – the more positive you are, the more your body makes the chemicals that make you feel happy, etc.

I remember that in high school I was disgusted by and admittedly jealous of those people who seemed eternally, unapologetically happy all the time. The cheerleaders of life, they walked the halls with a bright smile on their face and were easily excited by the smallest of good fortune. I wondered what would happen if I smiled more, even when I didn’t feel like it. What would happen if I celebrated small victories with more than my natural sarcastic and oh-so-hip indifference?

So I tried it. I walked around with a smile on my face. I giggled with joy when a boy looked at me in the hall. I did a dance in my head at every Aced test (and don’t fool yourself, there were quite a few). I felt silly at first, but then I noticed that it got easier and easier. I smiled in the morning and then I felt like smiling all day. You can fake your way into a true good mood.

In the words of Dr. McKinley, “Instead of letting something aggravate you, find something about it to appreciate.” Your boss is going to keep coming to your desk and demanding unreasonable deadlines from you. Instead of tensing your jaw and your butt cheeks every time she approaches, appreciate the fact that at least she waited until after lunch to ruin your day. Appreciate that she got dressed today. Appreciate that she hasn’t fired you. Instead of grumbling at the rain on your way to work, take a moment to look up and appreciate the mysterious beauty of the lightning show that’s playing out thousands of feet above you.

Change your energy any way you can, even if you have to fake it at first. See if you don’t feel happier in spite of your cynical and oh-so-hip self.