I almost cried three times today.
The saddest thing about this day is not the fact that I’m crossing the 30-year hump. It’s not saying goodbye to my 20s. My 20s were great but you know what? They were also full of 20-year-olds. Good riddance.
It’s not even the fact that I get to go home to an empty house because my husband’s traveling and my family is half the country away.
It’s not the fact that I was waiting all day to see if my very sweet coworkers would, as tradition holds, ask me what kind of cake I like so they could get one for us all to enjoy and as of 3:30pm it had not arrived.
I almost cried three times today:
1. At 3:30pm
I was lured into an office on false pretenses, only to be interrupted by the rest of my coworkers walking in with a candle-lit CARROT CAKE.
A… carrot cake. Really. Of all the cakes in this cake-filled city.
2. At 3:35pm
I bit into the carrot cake, only to find it had been filled with a lot of random stuff like raisins. And maybe pineapples. WTF, cake? Its bad enough you’re a carrot cake, but you have to be a shitty one? At least there were eight cups of sickly-sweet cream cheese frosting in each bite.
And because I’m actually celebrating on other days (ok, a lot of other days. Every weekend since Halloween and then the whole last week of this month), this might be the only cake I eat on my own cake day.
3. At 3:40pm
my coworkers told me how they thought about all the cupcakes I’ve made and brought in to share which led them to this decision. They told me how the cake place didn’t have this kind of cake on hand today and they had to make it all special. And they asked whether I liked the very special carrot cake and please did they make a good choice?
So very sweet. So thoughtful. So, so wrong. Worst possible choice, in fact. Seriously no other choice could have been worse. Even a pie would be a better cake choice than this cake choice.
But because they were so kind and because I am an adult and can’t throw a tantrum anymore, I just said thank you very much, it’s a lovely cake and don’t you know carrot cake is my dad’s favorite? And look how cute the little frosting carrots are. And my what an interesting texture it has. And wow, are these moistened raisins in my mouth? I wasn’t expecting that today.
I was happily content that I could at least appear gracious, only to be struck with the horrible realization that because I didn’t scream “CHOCOLATE, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!” this. cake. might reappear.
Next year.
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