Why men are in trouble

I have an overwhelming need to rant about this article that I’ve seen all over the social medias this past week, and I’ve discovered that I have a blog , and that’s probably where I’m allowed to rant.

Why men are in trouble–CNN.com

Basically, this article is saying that men are idiots and women are taking over the world. And while I have NO PROBLEM with that statement, almost every piece of evidence this author uses in support of this argument is patently ridiculous.

First he says that women are outstripping men in college degrees. In 1970, the split was 60/40 to men, and now it’s 40/60. Well, how does that compare with the overall population? If the number of women and men in the population is even, then yeah, that’s a valid point, but maybe it’s just proportional.

Then he says women’s earnings in real dollars grew 44% from 1970-2007 while men’s grew only 6%. How much of that is just catching up to equality?

“In 1950, 5% of men at the prime working age were unemployed. As of last year, 20% were not working, the highest ever recorded.” I don’t know if you heard, but there’s this whole recession thing people are talking about. There are more unemployed people than ever, both men and women.

He goes on to say some weird stuff about babies with no baby daddies, and then this gem: “Man’s response has been pathetic. Today, 18-to- 34-year-old men spend more time playing video games a day than 12-to- 17-year-old boys. While women are graduating college and finding good jobs, too many men are not going to work, not getting married and not raising families.” So many amazing points here….

1. I would guess that men in college and in their early career, pre-family just have more free time and more freedom to fill their time than any other men.
2. I didn’t know that playing video games and holding down a job were mutually exclusive. Shit.
3. You can’t compare men in one age group to men in another age group and then make an assumption about women. How many women spend their free time playing video games? This one, at least. Although not as much as that bum fiancé of mine. OH WAIT he’s the one with a job.
4. I understand how “going to work” can be a measure of your value in society, but what does getting married and raising a family have to do with it, old man?

No!! You’re ruining him!! If only he had a father figure in his life…

RIGHT after that he says “Women are beginning to take the place of men in many ways.” (my emphasis) Girls: you can get jobs and become the head of your household, but we will never let you forget how you’ve upset the natural order.

Then he says some enlightening things about how boys are sorrily influenced by the media that solely portrays them as shallow man-children who treat women like tissues (my gross metaphor, not his). Poor dumb men, what are you to do when this is your only reference on how to act. Nevermind all the movies and TV shows that paint women as insecure empty vessels whose one-track minds can only be distracted from their all-consuming need to find a man for the occasional shopping spree.

Oh God, this is all wrong. What are you doing, woman??

This final paragraph really sells me on the whole thing, though.

“The Founding Fathers believed, and the evidence still shows, that industriousness, marriage and religion are a very important basis for male empowerment and achievement. We may need to say to a number of our twenty-something men, ‘Get off the video games five hours a day, get yourself together, get a challenging job and get married.’ It’s time for men to man up.”

SOLD. So you boys, get to work and make some cash money. Get married to anything that says yes. (As long as it’s a woman.) Go to church, goddammit. Make some babies, and then maybe you’ll be useful to society.

Creative pursuits? Philanthropic efforts? Shut up. Didn’t you hear that women make almost as much as you now in real jobs?

Love? Committed partnerships regardless of legally binding contracts? Don’t worry about it. It don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that ring.

And if you don’t show up in church every Sunday, well, how will we know that you…went to church. Spirituality? Actual belief in something that you can’t explain? Not really worth it unless you can show everyone else. Firm belief in only the coldest, hardest facts of science? WITCH. Have fun burning in Hell for all of eternity. I’ll be laughing at you with my rich wife and 18 children from a cloud. You and the devil can compete for high score in a never-ending game of Shaq-Fu (no, really).

This is why women don’t play video games. Can’t figure out how to hold that controller. “Where’s the shopping button?”